Need Each Other
by tardissnailss
Summary: Karkat has red feelings for Sollux, what will happen as they grow closer? wow crap summary. angsty/fluff.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Homestuck fanfiction. It was inspired by an RP I had a few days ago. Going to make it multi-chapter because I can. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck. Hussie does. The lucky bastard.

* * *

Karkat sat in his chair and pulled up to his desk, where his hivetop was sitting. He opened it and logged into his Trollian account. None of his friends were online, so he sat and waited. He had nothing better to do. He wasn't going to sleep. No way! Not with the nightmares he'd been having.

He let his mind wander. Unsurprisingly, he let his mind wander to the one place he didn't want it to wander. Sollux Captor. The troll he had been flushed for since he was four sweeps old. The one troll he knew would never reciprocate his feelings.

A notification sound came from the Trollian application. Now Karkat had one friend online. And it was none other than Sollux. With a sigh, Karkat opened the chat window in Trollian.

**carcinoGenesist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**

**TA:** hey kk

**CG:** HEY SOLLUX.

**TA:** what'2 up?

**CG:** NOT A LOT. I'M FUCKING BORED.

**TA:** ii'm mo2tly ju2t tiired

**CG:** YEAH, I HAVEN'T FUCKING SLEPT IN DAYS

**TA:** neiither have ii

**CG:** I KEEP GETTING NIGHTMARES...

**TA:** about what?

**CG:** I'M NOT REALLY SURE. I THINK IT'S MY ANCESTOR OR SOME SHIT.

**TA:** really? what'2 iit liike?

**CG:** IT'S LIKE GETTING FUCKING TORTURED. AND THEN KILLED.

**TA:** ii've had 2iimiilar dream2, but iit'2 happening two all our friiend2

**CG:** WHAT ARE YOURS LIKE?

**TA:** mo2tly watchiing everyone diie over and over again

**CG:** OH... THAT MAKES MINE SOUND NOT SO BAD.

**TA:** eh, ii'm u2ed two iit

**CG:** YEAH, I GUESS YOU WOULD GET USED TO THAT EVENTUALLY.

**TA:** iit 2tiill ii2n't fun though

**CG:** WELL OBVIOUSLY. HOW COULD THAT EVER BE FUN?

**TA:** ii don't know

**TA:** maybe iif you were a 2ubbjugglator

**CG:** I GUESS. BUT EVEN THEN, IT'S LIKE WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS DIE.

**TA:** we 2hould talk about 2omethiing el2e

**CG:** YEAH. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

**TA:** ii don't really care

**TA:** ju2t not thii2

**CG:** YEAH, THIS SUBJECT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD.

**carcinoGenecist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**

Karkat's internet connection failed, as it had been doing for the past few days. He shut down his hivetop and slammed his head on the desk. "Lousy, stupid, goddamned internet connection."

The mutant-blooded troll left his respiteblock to tell his custodian to stop watching stupid internet videos, as they were taking up all of the WiFi.

"Crabdad! I'm trying to talk to someone up here! Can you just not use the internet for a little while?"

The crab lusus clicked and screeched. After some persuasion from Karkat, he closed the videos. The young troll returned to his hivetop and logged in to Trollian once again.

**carcinoGenecist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**

**CG:** SORRY ABOUT THAT, SOLLUX. MY INTERNET GOT FUCKING DISCONNECTED.

**CG:** HELLO?

**CG: **SOLLUX?

**TA: **2orry, kk. ii'm talking two ff right now.

**CG: **OH. OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER THEN, FUCKASS.

**TA: **2ee you, kk.

**carcinoGenecist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**

Perfect! He was talking to someone who actually had a chance to ever be in his quadrants, specifically the red quadrant. "Crabdad! You can watch your stupid videos again!" Karkat announced. He heard a gleeful skree come from down the stairs.

'At least someone's happy,' he thought to himself, promptly slamming his face on the desk.

* * *

Thanks for reading the first chapter! This was basically just to introduce the fact that Karkat has feelings for Sollux. Next chapters will be better. Review and stuff if you want.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reading the first chapter. I really appreciate it. Trigger warning: this chapter contains a suicide attempt

disclaimer: I don't own homestuck. Hussie does.

* * *

Karkat's head jolted up. He was drenched in a cold sweat and his hands were shaking. He had fallen asleep at his desk. The nightmares had been getting more frequent and he had been avoiding sleep for days. At least now he had had some rest, even if it was because he accidentally fell asleep in front of his hivetop.

The young troll stood up and stretched out his stiff limbs, glancing at the screen. He noticed that someone had tried to contact him, so he sat back down and looked to see who it was.

**terminallyCapricous [TC] began trolling carcinoGenecist [CG]**

**TC: **HeY bRo! ArE yOu AwAkE?

**TC: **i MoThErFuCkInG gUeSs NoT.

**TC: **HoNk! :o)

**TC: **HoNk! :o)

**TC: **AlRiGhT tHeN, bRo. JuSt AlL uP aNd ReSpOnD wHeN yOu WaKe Up.

**terminallyCapricous [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGenecist [CG]**

Gamzee, his moirail, had tried to contact him for unknown reasons. Karkat decided to not respond to Gamzee via Trollian, but instead packed up a few things and went to his friend's hive.

It was a particularly large hive, located on a beach. Gamzee's lusus was probably out at sea, as usual. Karkat looked out towards the water, he was mesmerized by the calm waves. After a few minutes he snapped out of it and knocked on the hive door.

"Woah! Hey Bro! I wasn't motherfucking expecting you to come here." As usual, Gamzee smelled of spoor and Faygo. His hive was disgustingly cluttered. There were horns everywhere. "What all up and made you decide to come over?"

Karkat shrugged. "I felt like leaving my hive, and you wanted to talk to me, so why the fuck not."

"Oh yeah! I wanted to know if you wanted to chill at my hive. I guess the answer's yes. Motherfucking miracle."

"Yeah, okay. I'll hang out with you, Gamzee."

The trolls walked towards the calm ocean and sat down on the dark sand. Gamzee talked about his red feelings for Tavros, while Karkat avoided the subject of his own feelings. He partially tuned out the other troll and listened to his thoughts; he looked out at the water again.

Gamzee said something about Faygo, but Karkat didn't hear what he said. "what?"

"I fuckin' said, 'I'm going to go get some more Faygo'" Gamzee stood up and started walking towards the hive. "Don't all up and die while I'm gone." He joked.

Those five words rang in his head as he looked at the water. _Don't all up and die_. Karkat slowly stood up and started walking towards the water. _Don't all up and die_. His feet sank in the sand as he walked. _Don't all up and die_. Tears started falling down his face. _Don't all up and die_. His hands were balled into fists as his feet entered the cold water. _Don't all up and die_. His sharp claws dug into the palms of his hands. _Don't all up and die._ His candy red blood started dripping through his fingers. _Don't all up and die._ He felt disgusting. _Don't all up and die._ He was a mutant. _Don't all up and die._ He didn't deserve to live. _Don't all up and die. All up and die. Up and die. Die. DIE! DIE! DIE!_

Karkat submerged himself, he felt heavy. He opened his eyes, the saltwater stung. He didn't care, he was going to die here anyway. His vision was starting to go dark. His head filled with pressure, the pressure of sinking. His lungs started to fill with water. He slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

**sorry for the cliff hanger! **

**who am I kidding? I'm not sorry for anything :)**

**okay, maybe i'm a little bit sorry.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for reading the first two chapters. here's another! it's kind of short, but whatever, it makes up for it in feelings.**

disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. Hussie owns Homestuck. It is him.

* * *

Next thing he knew, Karkat was coughing. Water spurted out of his mouth. His head was pounding, and he was feeling a bit lightheaded. Slowly, he opened his eyes to see a blurry figure looming over him. He blinked a few times and his vision focused. Gamzee was holding Karkat's head in his lap; he had been crying. Karkat sat up, he was now sitting in Gamzee's lap. Normally, Karkat would be uncomfortable like this, but not now. "What happened, Gamzee?" he asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer.

"I went to get more Faygo, and when I came back, you were trying to drown yourself. I- I told you not to up and die while I was gone, Bro!" Gamzee's voice was hoarse, and more tears threatened to spill over in his eyes. "It was a motherfucking joke."

"I know it was," Karkat felt like he was going to vomit. He had never seen Gamzee so upset before. "I just- Gamzee, the nightmares," he started to cry, and buried his face in Gamzee's shoulder. "They're getting worse, Gamzee. I don't know what to do! Every time I go to sleep-"

"Shhhhhhhh, it's okay, Bro," Gamzee wrapped his arms around the smaller troll. "I know. I've been getting them, too."

Karkat sniffled, "Y-you have?"

"Yeah, Bro."

"What are yours about?"

Gamzee hesitated, but he still answered. "In the dreams, I'm this motherfucking adult troll. A subjugglator, and I kill everyone," he paused, and took a shaky breath. "Karkat, I don't want to hurt anybody."

"I know, Gamzee."

The two trolls sat like that for a few hours, until Karkat decided that he wanted to go back to his own hive. Gamzee walked with him to make sure he made it there safely. When they arrived, Gamzee gave Karkat a hug. "You be motherfucking careful, Bro."

"Alright," Karkat responded, returning the hug. "And Gamzee, thanks for saving my life."

"No problem, Bro. See you later."

Karkat smiled and then entered his hive, closing the door behind him. He made his way to where Crabdad was lounging. As soon as he saw the custodian, he ran and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, Crabdad!"

The lusus clicked in confusion.

"Everything's fine, Crabdad. Well, it is now, anyway."

The crab screeched.

"Don't worry about it, Crabdad. I'm fine."

Crabdad wrapped his limbs around the troll.

"I love you, Crabdad."

The custodian made a few soft clicking noises; he then lifted Karkat up and moved to sit in a large chair, placing the troll in his lap. He clicked softly, lulling Karkat to sleep. The young mutant-blooded troll slept without a nightmare for the first time in weeks.

* * *

**Crabdad feels!**


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for reviewing and stuff, I really appreciate it! anyway, on with the show!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Homestuck. Hussie does.

* * *

A month had passed since Gamzee had saved his life. Karkat had not told his custodian about what happened, he didn't want the crab to worry. He knew it would probably do more harm than not if he said anything. Instead, he started spending more time with his lusus; they watched movies together, primarily romantic comedies, which they both enjoyed.

He also hung out with Gamzee more often than he used to. They didn't talk a lot for a while after the incident, because neither of them wanted to make the other uncomfortable. On one particularly cold day, the two of them were leaning against a tree. Gamzee spoke up, "Hey, Bro?"

"What's up, Gamzee?" Karkat shifted his body a little, so that he could see his friend better.

"What if I hadn't pulled you out of the water?" a few purple tears spilled from his eyes. "What if I didn't notice you were gone in time? Bro, I don't know what I would do if you died. If I had found you dead, knowing I could have motherfucking saved you, I don't think I could motherfucking handle it."

"Gamzee," Karkat pulled his moirail into a hug, red tears streaming from his own face. "It doesn't matter what could have happened. The point is that you did save me. And I'm glad that you did."

The two of them spent most of their days together just sitting. Not talking, except Gamzee occasionally asked Karkat for advice with romance, Tavros specifically. Honestly, Karkat didn't know why Gamzee went to him for advice, he had almost no experience. In fact, unless you counted watching every romcom in existence, he had no experience at all.

Tavros occasionally would come along and sit with them, he would try and start some friendly chatter, but it rarely went anywhere interesting. Eventually, he would give up all together and just snuggle against Gamzee. Whenever Tavros would do that, Gamzee would smile and wrap his arm around the shy troll.

Karkat desperately wanted someone he could snuggle against. Someone who would wrap their arm around him. Someone who would smile just thinking about him. He wanted desperately for that someone to be Sollux.

A Trollian alert sounded, and Karkat snapped back to reality.

**twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGenecist [CG]**

**TA: **kk.

**TA: **kk ii haven't heard from you iin 2o long.

**TA: **iit's been a month or 2omething 2ince we la2t talked.

**CG: **MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU.

**TA: **you don't?

**CG: **NO, I DO WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I'VE JUST BEEN BUSY WITH A LOT OF FUCKING SHIT LATELY.

**CG:** CRABDAD AND I HAVE BEEN SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER.

**CG: **AND IF THAT'S NOT FUCKING ENOUGH, GAMZEE AND TAVROS ARE COMPLETELY RED FOR EACH OTHER. BUT NIETHER OF THEM WANT TO FUCKING ADMIT IT TO THE OTHER.

**CG: **IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID, SOLLUX. I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.

**TA: **well, ii2 there anything that you do want two talk about?

**TA:** anything at all?

**CG: **WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE?

**TA: **ii'm ju2t trying two be a nice friend ii2 all.

**CG: **WELL, THERE IS ONE THING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU…

**TA: **what ii2 it, kk?

**carcinoGenecist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**

"God damn it, Crabdad!" Karkat shouted. "Get off of your fucking videos! I'm trying to tell Sollux something important!"

Crabdad screeched. He wasn't going to let up.

"Fine! I'll just go to his hive and tell him in person!" Karkat yelled as he walked out the door. "Fucking stupid videos are shit."

* * *

I just really like the idea of crabdad being addicted to stupid internet videos. it makes me really happy.

thanks for reading! leave a review if you want.


	5. Chapter 5

This took a lot longer to write than I meant for it to. Thanks for all the reviews and stuff. Enjoy.

* * *

Karkat took a deep breath. His hand was in a fist, hovering over Sollux's door. Thoughts were racing in his head. _Am I going to just tell him when he opens the door? Should I wait until he asks what I wanted to tell him? Should I just make something up and avoid it. God dammit, this is stupid. I should just leave._

He steps away from the door and starts heading back to his own hive, making it only about eight feet before he realizes that he's being an idiot and that he needs to just tell Sollux how he feels. If he doesn't do it now, he knows he never will.

With a sigh, Karkat walks back to the door and knocks. His stomach is churning with nerves, he can't help but feel like Sollux will hate him.

"Shit. I can't believe I'm doing this," Karkat mumbled under his breath. He could hear faint footsteps coming from inside. One more time, the idea of running away passed through his mind. He ignored it this time. _I'm not a coward. I can do this._

The door swung open and Sollux was standing in front of him, giving him a look. "Dude, did you seriously log off of Trollian and come all the way over here? Whatever you want to tell me must be important as hell," as usual, Sollux's lisp was there.

"I didn't log off. Crabdad was being an asshole and hogging all of the WiFi, so I got disconnected. I fucking came here to tell you before I fucking forgot."

Sollux shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. "Okay, whatever. So what is it? Or did you already forget?"

Karkat hesitated for a moment. "I'm flushed for someone," _shit are you kidding me? Why didn't I just tell him? I can't even confess right. I'm such a fucking idiot._

"Wait, so you mean to tell me that you came all the way over here to tell me that you have a crush on someone? Really? I'm sorry, but that is bullshit," sollux started to laugh, which made Karkat want to punch him. He held himself back, though.

"Don't fucking laugh. I'm being serious right now."

The mustard blooded troll let out a sigh and looked at Karkat. "Fine. Okay, who is it?"

Karkat took a deep breath, a faint blush formed on his cheeks. _Come on, I can do this. The worst he can do is turn me down. Fuck, that would suck. I should just tell him it's Terezi. He would believe me. Why did I come here? Fuck. Okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell him._ He cleared his throat and looked Sollux in the eyes. "You." _Fuck._

His face burned. Sollux didn't say anything, he looked like he was thinking about what Karkat had said. The mutant blood didn't break his eye contact. He braced himself for rejection, but it never came. He waited a few more seconds. Nothing. "Can you say something now? Please."

A smirk formed on Sollux's face. "I don't need to say anything."

Karkat frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Why the fuck is that?" _He's going to slam the door in my face. I really fucked up. Coming here was stupid._

Sollux grabbed Karkat's arm and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him. Before Karkat could ask what he was doing, Sollux's arms were wrapped tightly around him. The mutant blood, not knowing how to react to this situation, pried Sollux off of him. "Wait… I'm sorry, I'm really fucking confused. I thought you were going to slam the door in my face and never talk to me again."

"What? Why would I do that? That is the dumbest shit you have ever said, and you've said some really stupid shit."

"Fuck you. I'm flushed for you and you're not. You don't have to make me feel like shit by hugging me, you asshole."

Sollux shook his head in disbelief. "Is it really that hard for you to believe that someone could be flushed for you? Because I am, and I have been for a while."

"Yes it's that hard for me to believe! You know why? Because nobody would ever be flushed for me!" When Karkat realized what Sollux had just said he stopped and blinked in surprise, a blush forming on his cheeks yet again. "You are?"

Sollux's lips curved into a smile. "Yeah. I am."


End file.
